A little confession…

We all have strengths and weaknesses and therefore different areas of life we find challenging and require specific work in building resilience. Recently, my personal level of resilience has been challenged like never before.

Commitment. Hmm. Some thrive on it, others struggle. I’m the latter x 1000. Β And I’m not talking about any deep rooted family issues or particular relationship problems but my sheer fear and inability to be completely and utterly tied to something with no escape.

Why then, did i decide to take on a local bistro whose lease states it must be open 6 days a week for AT LEAST 12 hours a day (not including prep and clean down) ? It’s change, the unknown, independence and minimal demands that keep me balanced. (Spoiler alert!) running a bistro provides none of the above and all of the opposite.

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In any area of my life, change, uncertainty and freedom have led the way. Friends and friends of friends know me as ‘that girl who is always doing something random’ (someone literally said that to me this morning). It used to bother me, I felt I had to commit to something to prove something. Now I accept and proudly preserve my love for the uncommitted, for unlimited freedom and too much thinking time. Well, thats gone.

And boy has it shone a light on my own weaknesses that hadn’t before been so apparent (to me), but probably to others. BUT it has also provided a routine, and a sense of achievement, a new and staggering challenge that I haven’t been faced with before. Its pushed me to cultivate a new level of resilience, the walk my talk without falter and mostly in confronting my own weakness no matter the level of discomfort.

As it turns out, its been a big change and a course of uncertainty that has given me a new meaning to my independence. Funny that…

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